The Diabetic Whine

I suffer from an illness that is a pain

For everything I eat , or drink will hurt me so

Some folks thinks it has to do with weight gain

But in truth , it is really about blood flow

 

To be a Diabetic is a pain in the ass

You stick yourself with needles all the time

And that sugar-free shit only creates gas

And the health care programs are creating a crime

 

If your on medicare you can get a free meter

What good is that if your not

They way I look at it they are just another peter

To rob Paul , why those whom are broke just rot

 

I not crying about my disease ,NO

At least I have the knowledge to fight

It up to me how much I will let go

Before I end up in the final plight

 

NaH it a disease that takes away a little

From time to time, without much warning I must say

It painful inside and out , the skin gets brittle

The eyes do go, your inside organs do give away

 

Your feet hurt, and crack and throb all the time

And your friends and family get tired of hearing you whine

It strangles your heart, and kills you liver

And bust you financial till you become an un-giver

 

I know the world like to talk it up

But with the additives in our food , and high cost of healthy

You begin to realize that life is corrupt

It hard to eat right unless you are wealthy

 

 

The biggest fear is not what I might lose

If be facility or which limb to keep

The thing I fear is slipping into a sleep

And never waking again, that fast it can happen

That fast you will die, one pill to many, and then

 

But enough of this crying boo hoo

It could be much worse you Know

I could be famous, and a total doo

And have lay were daisies grow

 

Park 2012

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I am the un-counted

I am the over-looked

I am the un-counted

I fit no mold and go unnoticed

I wasted two lifetimes working for nothing

All doors remain close for me

 

I see no hands outstretched for me to grab

No act of kindness without conditions

No relief for people like me

My pain goes unchecked ,yet I am insured

The establishment picks and choose what they will do

Only at my deaths doorstep will they perform without malice

How arrogant this world is,that they hold my needs at pennies edge

 

I am well educated but display no accolades

I had to stand against evil, without protection,without justice

I fought in no foreign war, yet has faced the far side of a gun barrel

And yet I fared much worse as a victim,then if I had done the crime

Justice here is a game, a joke , an assault on God’s very Commandments

When called to serve I was herded like cattle in a basement , to be hidden

 

I sacrificed often for others, only to be spitted on rather than be thanked

Their feeling, their needs were my concerned, I was a joke to them

Years, yes years of not taking time off ,sick ,weak and full of fluids

No one cared, as long as they got their payment , their wages so to  be

The world glorifies the crooked politician, the self-centered celebrity , responsible free bureaucrat ,but shows no pardon for an honest willed person

 

I found that the world only counts on your recent deeds, your last three years of effort. The whole history is not of concern, It matters not that you were on the job for a lifetime, it only counts three years back, to bad , to bad

I am put on the same level as the criminal, the unclean , the sloths of humanity

It matters not that I been without a lawless record, It would be easier to have doors open it I had.

We live in a world where dishonesty pays, where deceit is prescribed ,Hence the insurance company that pays fully on it charge,and where hedge funding is the prescription for wealth and gambling is the funding of our schools, and yet there is never enough for those entities that are suppose to provide ,no one battled for me to see my just do, no one stood next to me when I was stripped of dignity , when my pockets were thin. And no one will

 

I laid in a fetal position on a gurney , my future unclear, my vision removed

Sign here, you should have , did they offer assistance no only asked how will you pay, sign this so you won’t drive and sue us, Like I could see you, ass

I risen days later, to start again, without the help from any of them

Each day I got better, but for whom, for more to go them, there is no cure

Why would there be when money is desired for their needs

 

Those that watched me were not amazed , for them I was a joke

My nice disposition only fueled their laughter, I watch a co-worker watched while I struggled with heavy equipment, I could almost here him laugh as he was leaving. Fine Christian man he was, a bible on each side with a tail coming outside his ass, It was not long after that I did fall

 

I am older now those days removed, but remember history don’t count

My pain today envelopes me, it clouds my judgement,weakens my strength

I seek no relief for I might not pay, those who insisted that we give it away

My sight is clouded by a film, that dirties the colors, and glares the light

I ask no more for help, I ask no more for quarter . The world can keep their hands to themselves, I wish not to dirty my own for the sake of comfort, but rather die

I pray not to linger in such a cold place,  a place where honesty is a curse

A place where good works is more of display,a concert and a beer

It has nothing to do with charity of the heart , but the clarity of one desire

I want none of it, no not one red cent, I deserve it not cause I tried my best

I will smile and greet with open heart and hope that when I depart, that maybe one , if only one will find a moment to stare at the sun, and say He is on His way

And I will say , I am on my way

Park 11 

To Me MoM

To Me MoM

It been a year ago today

that the Lord did take you away

I sure he had some things for you to do

and as always ,I know you will think it through

I sorry you’re not here with me

to laugh ,and tell me how things would be

I sadden that we must grow

and miss so much as I did sow

You are strong and determined Lass

if seen it as you put down an ass

time and time did I try to get over you

like a stupid kid is supposed to do

But without fail you sit in silence

till it was time to shake my highness

and put me where I did belong

reverent , respectful with a heart filled of song

I miss you me mom , I really do

and when it time I hope God lets me through

So I can hug and kiss you all I can

and tell you I am your little loving man

Park 11

Love you MoM

Getting older is far from golden, It more like tarnished brass

June 17,2011

 

Getting older is far from golden, It more like tarnished brass

 

the neighbor

As Age increases , our goodbye’s start to catch-up to our  Hello’s , Last night my neighbor and Friend had a stroke, this is his third mini-stroke and seems to have done some paralyzing of his one arm. Phil is a busy skinny individual, so for him to settle down and watch the world go by is just not in his character. I have not heard anything else yet, just wishing for the best. He loves working in the yard and doing creative projects Like building bird houses out of Maxwell House containers .

* buddy Phil

 

The socks

my feet has gotten so sensitive that putting socks on inside out has been a new and refreshing experience,It is true,by accident I put on a pair inside out and they felt so soft and comfortable that now they all are put on inside out. Caring about how that might appear is no longer a factor and at the age  of fifty-seven ,I so don’t care

*

Storm last night

funny, the night before my grand kids did a good job depriving me of sleep, Last night the Good Lord filled in. About two am, I was awaken by a loud boom, I had been listening through the computer a radio station which is unattainable by other means, so I got up and shut down the computer and watched the fireworks. We so needed the rain so , I guess another night of disrupted sleep is OK. I not sure why I like to listen to Radio stations from Holland, I understand a little Dutch but not enough to talk to a young lass without the fear of getting slapped in the face, just kidding

*

 

I never seen the Northern Lights, I doubt if it can be seen in Delaware,it has too much of a haze over it all the time, The Air Base close by also emits plenty of light, It can be seen from space Dover was at one time considered an emergency landing strip for the Space Shuttle. That would freak me out if it did > way to much space stuff over my house<  The New Cargo carriers the Air Force uses are smaller than the C5 but noisier in my opinion . This is a picture of the old C5    

Damn Cancer, Prayer for Wendy

A friend of our family is suffering tonight. She is watching her daughter suffer with cancer . This is not the first time this young lady has had to fight this dreaded disease. No It took her possibility of becoming a mother, earlier. Now it back to try to take more. I know Her parents are just falling apart at the seams. It is a heavy cross to bear ,  to watch your Child, Your Hope slip into the void of suffering. The pain,the fear ,the possibilities that a future will be cut short here. The fact that life experiences, joys and promises will have to go on with out Her.

Cancer is such a non forgiving illness. The treatments to battle Cancer are just as painful and toxic as the disease itself. The burden that it put on everyone it touches ,directly and indirectly is hard to measure. It even drains those who are not connected,just being aware that it is close. If someone would ask me to describe cancer I have to say it is Sin, all-consuming all destructive Sin. If someone would ask me to describe Sin , I would guarantee I would say frickin Cancer. I hate Cancer, I hate Sin.

I so sorry that this young person has to suffer so. I have no answers as why someone has to suffer so, I have no answers for earthquakes and tsunamis , I don’t. My only course of action is to pray. Some day the answers will be brought forward ,till now I pray and I trust . Tonight I am praying for Wendy…….

Let us Pray

Merciful God, Loving God

Will you comfort Wendy and her parents

She has so much to offer the world , I trust you have reasons

Please don’t let Her suffer. and Please Heal Her

If it is Your will, be Merciful

embrace Her with Your Love, Let her feel Your presence

Don’t let Her feel alone, Fill Her with the Grace of the Holy Spirit

Her suffering reminds us of Jesus’s suffering , Let Her feel Jesus’s Glory, His devotion to Wendy, His mighty Love.

Wendy sleep in peace tonight, and rise with the Hope that all will be alright .

I ask this in the name of Jesus

Amen

The Virtue of Patience

The fourth Sorrowful Mystery :

Churches ,Reading Pa.

the Virtue of Patience

The Carrying of the Cross

Jesus,You willing carried Your Cross for love of Your Father and all people: Grant me the Virtue of Patience . ( as written in my Prayer Book)

Today I had to get some Lab work done for my upcoming visit to my doctor. I awaken early and left the house before six in the morning to beat the crowd at the lab. I arrived to find about twenty folks on the sign up sheet before me. I knew it would be a wait, I miss the old days when the doctor office would take your blood samples right at the appointment. The new and improved way we do things are really allot to be desired,but that a different topic, and a contentious discussion as well.

When I was Younger , I would have been sucking wind, and grumbling under my breath. But now that I’m more mature I just fidget in my seat ,and try to take a nap or say the Rosary. About forty-five minutes after I arrived my name was called and I report to the first station of the ordeal. A five-minute interview, or processing if you prefer to be related to cattle, had to be completed. Then I was sent to another station where my blood would finally be removed.

I not a fan of being sticked with those blood sucking syringes ,but being a diabetic being stuck or probed is a daily event, and you kind get numb to it. I use to build up an anxiety because my veins have collapsed and they usually have to dig in there to find them. This would leave my arm very bruised, I actually thought about getting a tattoo in that area,but then they have to move to another area.

My technician arrived, She has been employed for this Lab for as long as I been going there,which has been about fifteen years. My usual approach is to greet her with a joyful remark, trying to cheer Her up before she goes to work . I suggested that they place a sign in the room stating ” Be kind to the one who is going to stick you”. She remand quite after that statement for a moment, then responded “Not Here, to many grumpy people” . I continued to cheer her up, making complements, agree with her about dealing with the general public,how cruel they could be. I figured an early patient probably complained about the wait. My opinion is that she is a victim of a broke , over-managed  health care system as I am.

I could not see the benefit in ruining her day because I did not feel like waiting. Beside it is my fault, more than likely that I am a diabetic, and it is my cross to carry. And I need to be thankful for technicians like her ,who can do what necessary to help me control my disease.

As a short order cook, I use to be amazed how people would act because they needed to wait for the food to be processed. You do not want to mess with the person who cooks for you,they have your health in their hands. And you should not mess with the person who is about to stick you, they just might go deeper than they need to.

 

Let us Pray

Wonderful and merciful Father, Through your Son,Jesus we have learned that sometimes we must be patient, and tolerant of others, even when it seem hard to do. Even when our nature is to complain and be aggressive to appease our needs. Help us attain the Virtue of Patience .May we learn to bring hope and Joy to others with a new attitude of patience . In Jesus  Name I ask, Amen