We are lost,confused
we sit and wait , contempt to move
we hide from the dark, from the door
Frighten of our shadows, scared to call
You, Most Blessed Mother
will show us the way
Your Love , Mother comfort us
Your caring peace is so embracing
point us the door of Our Father
I pray for this oh, Mother of God
Many times in my life, I witness change
I seen and participated in desegregation
I lived through several military exchanges
And I witness the financial deregulations
I sorry to say My Lord,that during these times I failed
I let in hate and damn my fellow man
If it did not go the way I wanted ,I shouted ,I hailed
I used the ugly language that disgraced Your Plan
It was easy to say that man Is my friend
Then behind his back call him ugly
It was easy to blame the other end
Or curse them for they are more wealthy
I done this , and I am ashamed
Because If I followed my faith it would not have happened
Now I have witnessed how it hurts , the hearts it claimed
If only I would have carried my cross, it would not have happened
So every day, I must pray, I will say
Be it for the Grace , to live in this place
And not be hurtful and do misgiving
But to learn to love those that are living
Ever so Pondering
grasping at reality
messing with may be
is it healthy to dwell
does any one really know
after all are we not our own design
I often ponder what would it be
like if the man above was here,
Would he smile?
He had a sweet smile
the above is my scratch book in which i put my ideas down,
I have lived through many New Years. It timelines our life as much as our birthdays, and anniversaries . As a child it seem to be part of the Christmas celebration
Tables full of food, and long distance relatives ( short distance now days) would show up for the feast .Some times there was some exchanging of gifts . The house would fill with the aroma of Ham ,or Turkey baking in the oven. The other thing that was a tradition at New Years was watching the Mummers Day Parade on TV, first it was in Black and White, then just before I was married the color TV showed up in livid color, and colorful it was.
The Mummers was a Philadelphia tradition going back long before my father,traditionally it was an all male event, I believe in the late 70s or 80s they started to allow women to join in. It was something we would look forward to , it would dominate our TV for at least 8 hours , definitely a huge parade. The introduction of the mandated digital signal , we total lost Philadelphia’s TV stations so I have no idea if the parade was Televised . It is so unlikeable the eliminating of past traditions and habitual pleasures that we took for granted , like watching thirty TV stations off an antenna with no cost but what the equipment originally cost . Missing listening to Ball games on the radio, they totally disappeared here . You get my rant here .
Many of my New Years as an young adult of course was spent in bed, or my head in a bucket, of course making an ass out of myself on New Years Eve was very easy back then. Fortunately for me I outgrew the need to drink early , and my career made it impossible. There was a few New Years where spent trying to catch up at work, cause Christmas had a way of decimating everything we tried to accomplish the other eleven months.
I spent many of New Years with my yellow pads, in a contemplating mode, mapping out the next twelve months, figuring on a future that will be more robust, more agreeable , more controlled. I still out the finical documents and my correspondents then box them away in hopes that every thing would start anew, of course it really don’t .
I am not please with past Year at all.
This New Years Eve dinner was at one of my daughters and it was Great . As you get older one finds themselves being more of a guest and less of a leader of the band.I found myself crashing in my recliner minutes after twelve
Today we went to the mother in laws, and the roads were filled with travelers. It did not seem like January one, even some of the shopping centers where open with few customers. The weather was unseasonable warm,with a few raindrops from scattered clouds. Nothing seem to resemble the New Years of my days gone by.
Today is the the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God. The Seventh day of Christmas by earlier Christian traditions . It is the First day of the Calendar year that I am familiar with. It should not feel like a normal run of the mill kind of day.
I think the way we started to push Christmas so early, the demand on making it the big Highlight of the year, and the incredible stress we put on ourselves has taken so much away from Day one. Even the visible fight of secular and Christian observance is becoming a tag that’s in constant battle. Maybe it is the mood I am in , the weariness of the political ,economic and frustrating news has taken it’s toll, and New Years is my first causality. New Years always seem to have a blue hue to it, It hard to explain unless you dabble in visual art, or into spiritual moods, I always relate Blue to New Years. It has a fresh appeal but a cold feeling.I truly find this New Year to be Blue.
It been a year ago today
that the Lord did take you away
I sure he had some things for you to do
and as always ,I know you will think it through
I sorry you’re not here with me
to laugh ,and tell me how things would be
I sadden that we must grow
and miss so much as I did sow
You are strong and determined Lass
if seen it as you put down an ass
time and time did I try to get over you
like a stupid kid is supposed to do
But without fail you sit in silence
till it was time to shake my highness
and put me where I did belong
reverent , respectful with a heart filled of song
I miss you me mom , I really do
and when it time I hope God lets me through
So I can hug and kiss you all I can
and tell you I am your little loving man
Love you MoM