Yesterday I visited a new eye doctor. I had skipped the past year exam ,it just getting to hard to cover the expenses and I doing it with less and less resources. The exam went well. My eyes were dilated and according to the Doctor , I have no scar tissue or leaking due to my diabetes, I do however have the beginning of Cataracts due to the same illness. So I have mixed feeling about this.
I also yesterday did a little deep thinking . With my eyes all screwy because of the exam it gave me some time to close my eyes and think. I have decided that I have lost my passion, my drive. I think I babied myself to long and let my woos take over. I have not done much in painting and writing, not really. I stopped making full course meals and have settled for a bowl of cheerios. Yes I been busy, but in a reactionary way. I have spent lots of time with the kids and hardly leave my house . I have not spearheaded anything in some time.
I ran into a former co-worker, which was nice. She reminded me of a time when I contributed everyday. She told my wife that she knew allot of times I should not have been at work cause I was ill. I never missed a day for years, and only took a few days off after my mini-stroke. I could not see but I went to work anyway, you don’t have to see to think, plot and direct. I so need to reach down and pull my pants up ,NOW.
Tuesday I voted , my choice for a new senator was between a person I feel is part of the old boy club, and Miss O’Donnel, whom I not sure of what qualifications she possesses . I finally made a decision based on my Faith , Right to Life stance . Neither candidate is noted to stating their agenda, but O’Donnel is a Catholic. So in a way my decision could not be made on the desired platform but on a emotional and spiritual choice, which does not really please me. Such choices always make me feel helpless and hopeless for the future ,and those of my offspring.