I am going to miss baseball, again

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I am going to miss my baseball, again*

I was lucky enough to be born in the fifties when life was more about families, homemade pies and baseball. I remember listening to the local radio stations broadcasting the Phillies and Baltimore games. Then on Saturday and Sundays we watched the games on Television. Baseball was such a fabric of life as I grew up,you watched it , listen to it, played it and fantasized being part of it. I passed this tradition on to my girls as they grew up with the trips to the Veterans Stadium and Camden Yards.

Watching on TV, was not a closed sports package on cable ,not Major League Baseball, no we watched it on the main stream media you received by an antenna, yes sometimes the reception was poor but It was available to watch free. I didn’t have to pay for the privilege to witness the game on my TV. I was not denied the access of listening to the games from the local radio station, never in my life would I have imagine that a pre-recorded loop would instruct me to contact MLB if I want to listen to the game. The internet back in the 90s provided several sites that would broadcast and keep track of the game, even MLB was reasonable and I was a subscriber till they raised the fees. When it was possible the family would make pilgrimages to the stadiums to watch the game. We were knowledgable spectators, we knew who played first, and how good was the pitcher on the mound. It was fun because we were exposed to the National Pastime of Baseball.

Baseball is suffering from a neurotic greed. It’s really unreasonable to pay such a high cost to watch the games. MLB feels it needs to pay their players and owners such exuberant salaries. Really! Paying players so much to live a dream.  They did work hard for it and they work hard for the owners , but so does the hot dog guy who makes little more than enough to pay his modest bills work just as hard. Hot dog guys holds your life in their hands just by doing the job properly. You not going to lose your cookies by watching baseball unless you have a gambling problem, but that hot dog guy that don’t wash his hands after his constitutional will keep you on the toilet for hours , think about that.

Now MLB feels it is their right to charge what it does, and they are entitled to make a profit.  Blocked games, denying public viewing and listening unless a ransom is paid could be a bad business strategy. The future is being determined by their actions. Baseball may not be the national pastime in another decade or so. It is no longer readily available to a growing population to watch. The younger generation are gravitating to other sports like soccer, the little league parks are finding it hard to get kids interested in playing. Kids are not exposed to baseball.Seasoned baseball followers media starved from the teams they follow soon realize that the team roster and makeup are different thus a less desirable game, might as well go to a minor league game for a lot less expense. No, MLB is putting their industry out of business , slowly like a  cancer it will die. Greed erodes what is good.

I will miss baseball again, there is no reason to drive a couple of hours, spend a couple hundred including expense to watch a game with unidentifiable and unfamiliar players, a situation created because listening and watching games on the tv or radio must  be paid for. Goodbye Phillies.. Goodbye Orioles ., Hello Manchester United..

to be fair one of my friends is capable of listening to Orioles on his radio station which signal isn’t capable for my radio to pick up. my local stations play the loop that the regular scheduled event isn’t available LOL

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I am nothing but behavior

I am nothing but a speck of dust in a universe that is infinite

I control nothing but my behavior

I can fool myself to believe I am in control of my destiny

I am not, my behavior may make it possible to achieve, arrive at a desired destination

I still have no guarantee that I will accomplish and attain this focal point

I must acknowledge to myself and the universe that I have little control at all

I have nothing but my behavior, it is my rock, foundation

It is formed by my belief system as is yours

It is molded by the examples of other souls, pre-experienced and caring

It is truth, words are nothing without the demonstration supported by behavior

It defines my soul, allows me to co-habitat with other souls

It provides strength when It is most needed and solace when I am sick

I have no control of illness but my behavior may invite certain physical calamities

I haven’t the control on my prosperity as I would like to believe, poor behavior will destroy but good intentions and wishful investing can as well

I must accept that my behavior will define my character, show my true worth

I am nothing in the grand scheme of the universe except to those whom wish to open up for me

I am nothing but love, wrapped in behavior, I was formed because of love, I was designed by love and it is only by my behavior that I can honor My God , Parents, My Spouse, My Children ,My Grandchildren and friendships that have molded my journey.

I am my behavior, the flesh will some day dissolve, and if I talked about after I am taken it will be about my behavior, my love and everything else formed by my free will which is behavior granted by my Creator

Peace be with you

Park 2015

A little dislike about age

I was sitting at the kitchen table eating my breakfast with my thoughts. I was mulling on how I don’t like this period of my life, I’m going on sixty. The sun raced across the table enlightening my hands as I moped in my self-pity when I realized that this is nothing new, not liking a period in my life. Why is that? I certainly have been blessed enough to live with a full,overfull tummy. I never woke up without a sanctuary a heated sanctuary. I have Problems, who hasn’t .

In my fifties I found myself becoming unemployed, diabetic and saying goodbye to my parents, and in-laws. Everything my Father and I worked towards, the family business disappeared. So at fifty-three everything that I was use to ceased,waking up well before the sunrise, working at least 10 hours a day 6 days a week if not more, I doubt if I worked a 40 hour week but 3 times in my life since I was seventeen. I don’t have the money to show for it , it was never about the money it was about keeping my word, the word I gave my father when I was in trouble and need his help. I wish I could brag about financial accomplishments but I think most small businesses in America usually are poorly compensated for their efforts despite what is assumed by many. So I do believe My God compensated me by arranging the opportunity to babysit my grandchildren and prepare the older generation for their death. It was a time of roller-coaster emotions yet I found peace, Several time I could feel My Lords presence and physically feel peaceful and strong when needed. So if someone ask me if I believe in Christ I have to answer How can I not?He was with me when no one else was.

My forties was a blur , only to find myself broken. I laid on a gurney, blinded because of a mild stroke, I laid there asking myself what next. I felt a great peace come when I said. God will be done, realizing that I could not fix this. I couldn’t. I will never forget that peace, except with a verbal confrontation with the doctor who was scolding me for not taking care of myself , which I reminded him he doesn’t work for free, I had just got on my wife’s insurance policy and was about to set up going to the family Physician, Another by-product of small business un-affordable health insurance. The doctor left quietly and I laughed at the nurse when she asked me to sign the release documents. I had to have her put my hands where I needed to scribble. I sat in the same chair three days then decided to find a way into work and gradually my sight returned to a less efficient but ever so workable miracle, yes miracle in my opinion. It probably was the mortal nail for my fathers business, I was no way the man that I was before the stroke. I didn’t like this time of my life either, and I was wrong to say this then as well for many events happen that where good that followed that day on the gurney.

My thirties I really don’t remember to much other than I worked , and worked and worked . My kids were being raised, we didn’t have much but we all had full tummies and plenty of interesting times. I somehow found out that I like to paint and draw, and wasn’t that bad at it . I didn’t have much time but found it possible to get lost in the basement and paint away.We had build a good size business and I would find myself being on call 24/7. This pattern caused me to develop the attitude if I can’t get it done in a day don’t bother,bad attitude that I still haven’t been able to undo. This should have been the prime of my life, maybe it was but I can’t remember much. At times I struggle to find memories of the kids and I. I can remember some of the bad moves and struggles at work but very little of my personal life. I didn’t like this time either, again I am grateful I made it pass this without doing to much damage

Many go on about their fun times the twenties were, Me not so. I was building a family, actually I had been daddy since I was eighteen and found work was the reward for having such a good time a few times. I think the twenties was the age of stupid mistakes, arrogance and fruitless dreams. It had some good times of course. I bought my house by my 21 birthday and found myself growing and growing,Physically of course. I had abandon my Catholic faith years ago. I never stop believing but was totally frustrated with the Church I belong to. It always seemed that when I need help I couldn’t find it. So I started to explore some other alternatives till I just closed the door to God till I received that day on the gurney. Nope I didn’t like the twenties either.

Now my youth was very interesting and to say I like my youth would be a big lie. I was born a pre-me and because of incubator burns I was left with one eyes that has little vision and required me to wear coke-bottle glasses to this day, my other eye was and is fantastic. My parents enrolled me into a Catholic School and I was one of a few that went to school in a white shirt and tie in a blue-collar military town so running for my house which was at the other end of the development was the norm. I gotten used to being called names and bullied both at home and believe it or not at the Catholic school because I was a kid from that side of town. The nuns even treated me different as if that what is the use, after all the kids thought it was cool to drink cough syrup, I just laughed as I lit up. They made me bathroom monitor I think one kid smoke in the school, me. I just didn’t fit in till I left Catholic school and went to public high school, there skipping school, getting high and surfing was all I wanted to do, And that is what I did do till I found myself needing to grow up and be a man, be responsible . I did not like this either, but I am grateful that God’s lessons that I did learn while going to that Catholic School at least steered me in the right direction. I was not a good Catholic, a bad Catholic but Catholic I was, I am , As God wills it.

Actually So what does this little rant have to do with anything, for most that read this nothing. I really do like this time because it is the only time, there is no other time it all is one time, each period formative for the next, each a chance to correct, learn and benefit from the other. I live in a time where I can type or post if you like a little about life and sail it out there into the universe, perhaps it will be saved and returned and read by someone whom I care about  and cares about me , you got to like this. I think !

Tranquil Thoughts

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Tranquil Thoughts make my pencil dance in a world of peace ,quiet and dormant memories. If the world could dance as my pencil does when in such a blessed mood perhaps there would not be so much weeping,anguish and pain.
Is not life hard enough without someone throwing shards of glass into the wind ……… something to think about

Hope lights up the Horizon

Is it not hope that lights up the horizon, I bet you Christopher Columbus would agree to that back in 1492.

I hope to witness the first men walk on Mars before my time.

I am sure my Grandfather was astounded when we walked on the moon. After all he really was born under an oil lamp with no phones, radios, and TVs , Bless His Soul.

Something to think about

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